Death, Dying and Dead
As a relatively new Funeral Celebrant I am interested to see that we have an amazing community across all Social Media channel that talks a lot about, death, dying and dead however, its quite normal for the majority of society to feel very uncomfortable around such talk while within the Funeral Industry talk is open and at times explicit.
I have noticed that there is a movement to try to encourage people to talk in ‘death’, ‘dying’ and ‘dead’ terms rather than the stiff upper lip ‘passed away’, ‘lost’ and ‘passed on’. There is a suggestion that by engaging in ‘straight talk’ around death and dying those who are experiencing grief and bereavement may be better placed to come to terms with the death of a close relative, friend or child.
So many things come to mind as a Funeral Celebrant when we talk about how best to address the circumstance when working with a family who have just experienced the death of a loved one. Families may be offended by the very straight-talking approach or they may become even more distressed, so I tend to work on a case by case assessment by internally reviewing how the family interact and they way they address the death within the family.
This is an incredibly tender time and from my own experience I recall how easily each of my siblings felt upset by one or the other sibling after my own father’s death. Of course, it’s never intentional but emotions are incredibly raw at this time and its our job to help families by allowing their grief without facilitating further distress.
So, although there maybe a movement to encourage the more direct use of death, dying and dead we should all think on about what the family members are feeling, how they wish to express where they are at and be guided by the needs of the family.